Monday, August 1, 2011

1. I haven’t posted in a while. I feel kind of off-balance or something. I blame Ohio. Ohio threw off my running schedule, too. Boo.

2. In my last post, I said I had a secret. My secret was that I was going to Ohio for a week and a half! I hung out with my family, ate a ton of food, bought a ton of freaking clothes, and partied with some cool kids! It was a little sad, though! I felt so limited on time, and there were a ton of people that I didn’t get to see! Oh well.

3. In Ohio, I went KAYAKING! It was awesome! I didn’t die! Seriously I want to kayak all the time now!

4. Speaking of kayaking, I’m trying to get over my hatred for all things water. Last week, I went swimming TWICE! I even got my hair wet! It’s a work in progress, but I think water and I are starting to become friends.

5. I don’t think I have mentioned that I have been working FULL TIME! Like an adult! It’s so great!!! I couldn’t have asked for anything better!!! I work for/with THEEE most awesome people, too! How did I get so freaking lucky?!

6. Happy Pioneer Day! Hooray for Utah holidays that I didn’t know about!

7. DUDE. Okay this is one of those things that is a lot of information. If you are easily grossed out by too much information, or if you’re still under the impression that girls don’t have bodily functions, then maybe skip to number eight.
Anyway, I went running the other day. Here’s the play by play:
3:00pm – started run.
3:15 – met mr. awful, horrible stomach cramp, stopped and tried to walk it off.
3:17 – you know that nasty feeling in that certain pit of your stomach, where you know if you don’t find a bathroom real quick, you’re done for?
3:17:30 – tried to figure out a way to go to the bathroom inconspicuously.
3:18 – reassured myself that I have a mom and dad that will love me no matter what I end up doing to myself in that moment, and that I probably don’t know any of the people driving by.
[Note: I was in the middle of a huge parking lot with no bushes, no hiding spots, no port-a-potties, nothing. There were tons of cars, sports camp kids, random pedestrians, etc. My shorts were WHITE. It was a NIGHTMARE.]
3:18 – prayed to anyone and everyone that I could make it to a bathroom!
3:20 – spotted building that looked cool enough to have indoor plumbing.
3:20:10 – BOOKED IT.
3:20:25 – ran over a soccer mom, and possibly one of her six children. Sorry!
3:22 – MADE IT. OH GLORY HALLELUJAH. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.
But seriously, what are you supposed to do in a situation like that?! I can only imagine the phone call with my roommate:
Me: Hey, uh. So I need you to come bring me a pair of shorts, like. Right now, okay?
Roommate: Wait, why-
Me: SHUT UP AND GET OVER HERE NOW.
Roommate: haaaaaahaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaa x forever
Really, though. Not that I plan on that happening again, but what if it does? What are you supposed to do? Maybe I’ll start an anonymous clean shorts service at BYU. That could potentially save some unlucky kids a lot of humiliation.

8. I’m a picky eater, but I’m trying not to be! I’ve been trying to like new things, I really have!
I’ve tried:
[ 1- totally not edible ever…..10- totally edible always]
Chicken noodle soup – 6
Chicken feet – -7865789431234567456
Weird Chinese food – 7
Weird Mediterranean food – 9
Hummus – 8
Eggplant – 5
Lasagna – 2
Cheeseburgers – 4
Gravy – 1
I feel kind of accomplished.

9. I think more people need to be aware of the fat mom rule. [Note: my mom isn’t fat, just so you know.] Anyway, if my mom was fat, I can say she is fat, but don’t you dare tell me that she is fat, even if she set the world record for fatties. Get it? This applies to other people who you feel protective over, not just moms.

10. Why am I not Aretha Franklin? Or Ariana Grande? Or Christina Aguilera? Or Joss Stone?

11. So I watched the movie Burlesque, and I have this problem now. I WANT TO BE A BURLESQUE DANCER. I don’t know that BYU would approve of that. I guess dancing in front of my mirror will have to suffice for now. –sigh-

12. Just for the record, I am in no rush to get married. I have been looking through my iTunes today and looking to see if there were any potential wedding songs, just for fun. Apparently I am not a girl. The only songs that stick out to me are either outrageously dirty, or not even closely related to weddings or love or anything like that.

13. I went to a local show! It was awesome! I fell in love… with a girl singer, a boy guitarist, and some awesome dreadlocks.

14. Harry Potter was amazing. J.K. Rowling is such a beast. I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing with my life now that it’s all over.

15. I move to a new apartment soon! I am SO EXCITED! I went and visited it, and it’s super cute! Ah! I cannot wait for fall semester to start!

16. Last night I made CAKE from SCRATCH in A CUP in THE MICROWAVE. It was DIVINE.

17. I’m pretty much on a first-name basis with the people who work at the BYU post office. It’s basically awesome.

18. I’m getting my wisdom teeth out in a few weeks. I am the BIGGEST baby in the whole planet. I called and scheduled my surgery and cried on the phone with the receptionist lady. For real.

19. I think I enjoy quiet more than the average person does.

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