Friday, August 5, 2011

I really don't mean to offend anyone by anything I say, and depending on what you are offended by, I apologize in advance.
Let's get this road on the show!

1. I absolutely HATE baby talk. Go ahead. Do it. I will vomit all over your face. And also like, saying weird words and phrases that people think make them sound cute, but really just make them sound like a trashy hoe? Like the word ‘panties’ [and ‘undies’. it isn’t as bad, but still vomit-worthy.] [[and I hate this face 70% of the time :D]]

2. On Facebook, why all of a sudden can you not creep through pictures and use chat at the same time? This takes all the fun away from tandem creeping.

3. Even though the new Facebook thing sucks, it is still so much better than twitter. I hate twitter more than I hate most things, and I will also vomit all over the face of the next person that tells me to start using mine again. It was ‘cool’ like, a few years ago, and then people stopped using it, and now it’s ‘cool’ again. Don’t fall for it, it’s not as sweet as people say it is!
Also, what on earth is google+? I hate people who are all like, ‘Oh yeah, google+ is the new facebook, if more people on this earth were as smart and technologically advanced as me, then we would all be on google+, only dumb people still have facebook, I’m so cool, lolz.’ Screw you, I don’t care about your life as a technology snob.

4. I’m starting on a pretty hefty project. It’s going to be awesome, though!

5. I am in love with Victoria’s Secret. Seriously, there’s something about that store that makes me NEED everything there. They need to have a bridal registry, FOR REAL.

6. This is exciting, be excited. I AM NO LONGER A CAFETERIA WORKER, HOORAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! NO MORE BACON GREASE UNDER MY FINGERNAILS! NO MORE HORMONALLY CHARGED EFY KIDS! NO MORE HAIRNETS! NO MORE COMMUNITY HATS! NO MORE KETCHUP CAKED IN MY ARMPITS! NO MORE SCRAPING OFF HALF-EATEN FOOD OFF OF DISHES! …and most importantly NO MORE BEING [completely] POOR!!!!!!!!!

7. I CANNOT listen to music and read/study at the same time. I really don’t like a lot of noise, and I ABSOLUTELY HATE when people don’t use headphones, or leave music playing/the tv on and go do something else. Seriously, there probably isn’t anything more that makes me want to die.

8. Not giving a crap is a good mindset to have.

9. I went to the farmers market today! I AM IN LOVE. Farmers markets are one of my favorite things in the whole world.

10. I love the little stupid things that make your day. I was walking to work, and some girl was like, ‘hey, your shirt is super cute!’, and it like. Made my life! I should do more things like that. It really is so easy!

11. I love people. I really do! I feel like I really am not a mean person, and I’m pretty DANG tolerant and patient. Sometimes I don’t think people understand how HUGE of a biznatch I have the right to be.

12. I have an all-sports pass, woohoo!

13. Have you noticed that there are two types of cute girls? There are cute girls that are actually cute, physically! And then there are types of girls that are extremely not cute, at all, ever, not in the slightest, but they put so much effort into cute outfits, hair, makeup, etc., that they fool you into thinking they’re cute! Is that super rude, or just a little rude? I mean, most people I think are cute, either way. I don’t hate on girls that aren’t cute, this is just an observation!

14. I LOVE sending/getting mail! Let’s be pen pals!

15. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. If anyone has any ideas, throw them at me.

16. I feel like people make non-awkward situations awkward by saying, ‘Ew, this is so awkward.’ Okay, thanks, dude. Now it’s awkward, but it totally wasn’t before. And even if it was, who cares? Life is awkward. You’re awkward.

17. I complain a lot. I complain to people a lot. Before I complain, I try to make sure that I have a right to complain. If I don’t, it can be hard to try and save your sorry self from ONE. the hugest whole in world that you dug yourself in. and TWO. The horrific WRATH of whoever you are complaining to, that obviously has all the right to complain.

18. I need more motivation to look cute.

19. Picnik pictures are super annoying, and hardly ever cute.

2 comments:

  1. High, girl. Dunno if you write, but this’ll help immensely on your writing journey (Upstairs) and, believe-you-me, you’d want nothing else if you experienced what I did. So, why should you love our exploded plethora of produce which’ll plant the seeds for you to grow to great heights?? PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK:

    Greetings, earthling! Not sure if we're on the same page if you saw what I saw. While in a coma, I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s dichotomy’s gonna be like for us if ya believe/accept: meet this intoxicatingly bombastic, ex-mortal Upstairs for the most blatantly, tastefully, incomprehensibly phat… catch-22-excitotoxins… myriads of cogently-ironic-meta4s… sheer endorphin-rush with massive pleasure-beyond-measure to boot… Ultra-Firepower, [bleep]-thwrote, Idyllic-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, robust-and-risqué-play-station-voltage, eternal-real-McCoy-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-rrrock’nNsmmmokin’-hot-deal, baby. PLEASE KEEP HANDS/FEET INSIDE THE RIDE UNTIL WE MADE A CIRCUMFERENCE OF the OUTSTANDING, NEVER-ENDING, THRILLIONTH, RED-MARKER-POSSIBILITIES …with eXtra eXciting eXtroverts doing the most vivid, brazen congruents as flawless as pearls from the Toyster Upstairs!!! Quite a run-on-sentence… yet, Upstairs, U2 may push-the-hydraulic-envelope for endless exaggeration. WAIT!! THAT’S NOT ALL!! TELL’M WHAT THEY’LL RECEIVE, JOHNNY!! In that [in]sane landscape of tumultuous, thoroughbred metabolism high-above ’N faaar-beyond the paisley troposphere? Duuude! Just a drop-in-the-bucket in the many universes fulla audacious-innuendo-deluxxe!! So, gain altitude, not attitude, and take front-row-seats, miss gorgeous, as the inexhaustible, irresistible intimacy from THE PowerPlaya shall blow-your-fragile-mind into zany peaces. Meet me Upstairs. Do that for us. Cya soon, girly. Love you.

    PS “It is impossible that anyone should NOT receive all that they have believed and hoped to obtain; it gives Me great pleasure when men hope great things from Me and I will always give them more than they expect”
    -Our Lord to Saint Gertrude

    ReplyDelete
  2. High, girl. Dunno if you write, but this’ll help immensely on your writing journey (Upstairs) and, believe-you-me, you’d want nothing else if you experienced what I did. So, why should you love our exploded plethora of produce which’ll plant the seeds for you to grow to great heights?? PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK:

    Greetings, earthling! Not sure if we're on the same page if you saw what I saw. While in a coma, I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s dichotomy’s gonna be like for us if ya believe/accept: meet this intoxicatingly bombastic, ex-mortal Upstairs for the most blatantly, tastefully, incomprehensibly phat… catch-22-excitotoxins… myriads of cogently-ironic-meta4s… sheer endorphin-rush with massive pleasure-beyond-measure to boot… Ultra-Firepower, [bleep]-thwrote, Idyllic-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, robust-and-risqué-play-station-voltage, eternal-real-McCoy-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-rrrock’nNsmmmokin’-hot-deal, baby. PLEASE KEEP HANDS/FEET INSIDE THE RIDE UNTIL WE MADE A CIRCUMFERENCE OF the OUTSTANDING, NEVER-ENDING, THRILLIONTH, RED-MARKER-POSSIBILITIES …with eXtra eXciting eXtroverts doing the most vivid, brazen congruents as flawless as pearls from the Toyster Upstairs!!! Quite a run-on-sentence… yet, Upstairs, U2 may push-the-hydraulic-envelope for endless exaggeration. WAIT!! THAT’S NOT ALL!! TELL’M WHAT THEY’LL RECEIVE, JOHNNY!! In that [in]sane landscape of tumultuous, thoroughbred metabolism high-above ’N faaar-beyond the paisley troposphere? Duuude! Just a drop-in-the-bucket in the many universes fulla audacious-innuendo-deluxxe!! So, gain altitude, not attitude, and take front-row-seats, miss gorgeous, as the inexhaustible, irresistible intimacy from THE PowerPlaya shall blow-your-fragile-mind into zany peaces. Meet me Upstairs. Do that for us. Cya soon, girly. Love you.

    PS “It is impossible that anyone should NOT receive all that they have believed and hoped to obtain; it gives Me great pleasure when men hope great things from Me and I will always give them more than they expect”
    -Our Lord to Saint Gertrude

    ReplyDelete